July 15, 2010

I'm sore

I don't want to be hurt anymore! I'm not your hollaback girl! It really really hurts to be ignored do you people know that! What has happened to me for the last six months may be insignificant to some people, or you may label me as sensitive. But honestly, you won't know how painful it is till you've been in my shoes.

True, I'm a protected person, I don't have enough confidence, and I'm not the funniest or prettiest. But I don't deserve to be treated like that by my 'friends'. Being blatantly ignored is, I can only describe it as insanely, fucking appalling. A stronger person might've just said 'fuck it all' and moved on. But who am I?! I'm HELEN! the girl with too much heart, so I keep loving people. I love and love and love but this time I got hurt really bad. I can't take lonliness, I can't fuck it all. I need people to like me I just do.

I don't even know where this is going. I think I'm just trying to write out my heartache. I eavesdropped and found out that the guy i like likes another girl. I guess from the very beginning I already knew liking him would only hurt me but no, i just HAD to fall for him. Eventually I guess, while liking him I came to terms about the whole impossible thing and was actually ok. But

I'd rather not love

They'll never know how much what they did hurt me.

December 26, 2009

If you're reading this


p/s: I hope you know who you are

August 9, 2009

A proper post

stupid dead place.

I'm feeling particularly dead today, and there won't be any fancy shmancy Helen paintings in this post. Not because I don't have any. But because I'm feeling dead.

Dead because of this. Dead because of that. And I reckon, honestly reckon that this will probably turn into another of my pretentious poems if I weren't so, dead.

If I had an accent this will probably be a vlog, but I don't, so suck it up. I'm the kind of person who likes clean boys and ironed clothes . And I'm the kind of person who uses words like epiglottis in essays.

So there you go, a proper post.

p/s: At this point, it just occured to be that no one is interested in what I think, or feel, despite this being my blog and all and I'll be better off posting pictures and the sort

throw me an invisibility cloak and I'll party all night with you

July 31, 2009

July 27, 2009

When I take pictures I'd tell myself in my head sexy and mysterious sexy and mysterious over and over again and I always turn out looking like